


Egg Languages

by hands



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crack, Eggs, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, but like a serious crack, i'm trying here man, language of the eggs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:30:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12635778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hands/pseuds/hands
Summary: egg leggngeggegggegg is english, but all vowels are replaced with egg.soi walked the dog.turns intoegg wegglkeggd thegg deggg.





	Egg Languages

alexander hamilton angrily walked up to the door of thomas jefferson's mini-mansion. he knew they-- jefferson, madison, burr, all of them–- were planning. planning something, he didn't know what exactly, but it was something. maybe the death of his career (he scoffed internally, _sure_ ), or maybe just his death. either way, he needed to go check it out.

 

he didn't know what to expect when he walked up to the door, but it certainly wasn't hollering laughter. he knocked on the door, but they didn't seem to hear.

 

after a few minutes of silently debating against his morals, he tried the doorknob. _fuck. it was open_.

 

he pushed it open and stepped in, just in time to see james and thomas cuddled on the couch, which wasn't the unusual part. aaron burr, first crawled out from being cuddled by thomas and james, knelt on the carpet floor, surrounded by papers. the papers were one of the weirdest things about the scene.

 

the papers, to alexander, seemed to just have plain gibberish on them. hegg, legg, xegg? what the hell?

 

"no no no, you don't understand. guys, we've had it all wrong. it's eggleggxeggndeggr heggmegglteggn!" aaron shouted, rearranging the papers. alexander shot him an extremely confused look, and looked up to jeffmads to see both of their awed expressions.

 

"aaron burr," james started, just staring at the man.

 

"you're a genius," thomas finished. are they serious?

 

"yes! eggleggxeggndeggr heggmegglteggn! why didn't we figure it out sooner?"

 

"i don't know jemmy, but i'm glad we got it."

 

alexander didn't say anything, and slowly backed out, unnoticed by jeffmadsburr.

 

* * *

 

the next few weeks, everything was fairly normal. then came the next cabinet battle.

 

it was something alexander honestly thought was ridiculous, he knew everyone else agreed. well, almost everyone.

 

jefferson, madison, and burr _refused_ to speak in english. they would only talk in whatever fucking language they were talking in the other night. the hegg whatever.

 

since no one but each other knew what they were saying, alexander grew increasingly frustrated, until he eventually snapped.

 

"you must be out of your goddamn mind if you think anyone in a ten mile fucking radius can understand a single word you're saying," he practically growled in thomas' face. he heard cries of "oh no," and "alexander! stop!," but he didn't care. how was he supposed to argue with someone who refused to argue in a language he could understand. like, okay he didn't mind if it was an actual language, but _gibberish_? fuck no.

 

washington came over, separating the two and sending alexander on a walk.

 

when he came back, jeffmadsburr were talking in a weird triangle-like stance that made him think of a cult of some sort. he sat down on a table and tried to decode their conversation, totally not because he was curious or anything.

 

"heggneggstly eggt weggs reggegglly heggt wheggn hegg geggt eggll eggp eggn yeggeggr feggcegg," james was saying.

 

"egg theggeggght eggt weggs beggth heggt eggnd heggleggreggeggeggs, whegg kneggw hegg ceggeggld geggt segg weggrkeggd eggp eggveggr neggt eggndeggrsteggndeggng seggmeggtheggng," burr joined

 

"i think alexander's really cute when he's like that," thomas said, but in perfectly clear english.

 

everyone went dead silent and all looked towards alexander, who had since stood and was now totally red. "first of all, thank you. second, fuck you."

 

"is that a promise?" jefferson winked.

 

alexander rolled his eyes, and aaron poured a cup of water on jefferson's head. "heggy!" he squawked.

 


End file.
